Who's Account-able?

My husband and I share a joint checking and savings account. Always have, always will. Years ago, when we lived with one another before getting married (yes, we were one of THOSE couples), we had separate accounts. I was always confused during this period too. Whose income was responsible for what? Who would pay the electric bill? Who would pay for groceries? Since we were making comparable incomes, we essentially split expenses. But, after a month or so of trying to figure out who was accountable for what, we decided to go ahead and pool our resources and just pay everything from one account.

Here's why I bring up this topic. A friend of mine, who has been married for over 20 years, informed me that she and her husband have separate accounts. Essentially, her income and his income go into one account in HIS name. She maintains a separate checking account from income earned at another part-time job, income which is not sizable by any means. Her husband pays all household expenses from HIS account and when she needs extra money, she has to ask him. I asked her repeatedly, how is this possible? In this day and age, how many more husbands and wives are out there in similar situations?

I am by no means demeaning anyone if you are in this type of situation. I just wonder how you make it work. My husband and I decided that the best solution for our family was to put everything into one pot, regardless of who made more and regardless if the income was supporting children from previous marriages. I have to give my husband credit, he has never once told me I couldn't spend any amount of money on the children just because they came from another biological contributor. Telling me to quit spending so much money on the children altogether, now that's another matter :-).

So who's account-able in your marriage? For my family, we're going to continue doing what we've always done - my husband's money is my money, and my money is my money too.