My husband and I have a blended family. One his, two mine, one ours. However, we call all of them our children, regardless of what belly they came from.
Having had his daughter since she was an infant, I feel as much of a mother to her as I do my own. I've gotten up in the middle of the night when she's been sick, changed her diapers, kissed boo-boos, attended parent/teacher conferences, you name it, I've done it. Here's my dilemna.
My daughter (stepdaughter) calles me "Mom". This bothers her biological mother to no end. In fact, the bio mom takes every moment she can to remind our daughter to not call me "Mom". Well, we finally had a Jerry Springer moment yesterday on our front porch about it. Needless to say, the neighbors heard more than they probably should have. If you know me, I don't get easily riled up. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. However, I've had my limit of watching the biological contributor gossip about me at sporting and school events and I couldn't help myself. It was not one of my finer moments in life, but at least it finally got out in the open. I think this issue is unresolvable between us all. The biological mom will always believe it's disrespectful to her and I will always believe she should just shut the F**K up.
Feel free to share if you've experienced the same situation or what your thoughts are about it. And I'm OK with hearing differing viewpoints :-)
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A few years ago, my nephew had to tell his class what he was most thankful for at Thanksgiving. His reply was, "having two families." If I were in bio mom's situation, would it piss me off? Maybe. However, she should be grateful that your daughter has two loving homes, no matter what your "titles" are.
ReplyDeleteI def agree w/ AP2..being that I grew up w/ 2 loving families and now have a step-son of my own..it is wonderful that you love your step-daughter as much as your own children..some parents aren't like that..hang in there and keep on lovin'
ReplyDeleteNot that you have nothing else to deal with or do! 5 kids, husband, dog, house, grocery store, etc.... I totally agree, who wouldn't want 2 loving family's....It's sad to hear because the only one that is really going to be affected is the child. You'd think that the bio mom would understand that....Keep positive and give that child a big hug!!
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't know your whole situation but since you said a differing opinion is okay with you then here it is. If let's say I'm the biological mom, I probably would be as mad as hell if my daughter calls the stepmom "mom". That's just me. But I don't agree with the bio mom's gossiping. I think that's just too childish. At the end of the day as long as the child is happy, well taken care of and loved that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteJenna,
ReplyDeleteKeith got upset when Lance began calling Billy, "dad". I remember a Jerry Springer moment or two also. Keith was so pissed when in reality it was a bruised ego. I understand it from both sides. I don't think I would like my kids calling someone else, "mom", but I also think it's all about the kids. If the kids feel comfortable enough with calling you mom, good!
Oh, I also forgot to mention Lance telling me more than once how cool he thought it was having two dad's!
ReplyDelete