We're dating again

My husband and I are dating again, not each other or other people though. Huh you say? I mean we're dating another couple, as in forging a new friendship with a couple who just moved in across the street. I think finding a NEW couple friend whom you're compatible with and can stand to be around for longer than 15 minutes of idle chit chat is challenging. You see, I believe the process of becoming friends is similar to the process of a dating couple.

On your first "date", you ask the typical discovery type questions. Questions like: how many children do you have, where do you work, where did you go to college, what's your favorite alcoholic beverage (doesn't everyone ask that question?) and so on and so on. After these questions are answered you then have to decide if you liked them enough to come around again OR if they liked you enough to want to be around you again.

On your second, third, fourth dates, you begin to hear stories about them from their youth and early adulthood, some flattering and others not so flattering, but all along, getting to know their real selves a bit more. And whether or not these tales of lore either induce you to want to find out more about them or if they make you want to run towards the hills faster than Forrest Gump determines if you truly can become a couple friend.

It's when you become a couple friend that the really interesting situations arise. When do you become comfortable enough to have them see you in your jammies? In my case, I'm easy, it only took a few dates :-) Or when do you reveal how bitchy you really can be, again, in my case, I'm easy. When do you let your bodily functions come out to play without feeling humiliated? Or is this reserved for when you become the old married couple couple? For clarification, the old married couple couple are those friends who know EVERYTHING about you and then some AND yet they still hang out with you. You know who you are! :-)

It's funny, just when we thought we didn't have enough room or time in our lives for more friends, we find ourselves dating again. Will they replace our married couple couples we already have? Nah. Will we get past all the wooing and dating and become an old married couple with them? I'm thinking there's a real possibility.

Hen House vs Wal-Mart

Belt tightening, budget, expense control, saving, cost reduction...whatever you call it, it's still the same to me - trying to save in areas where you can, not only because the wallet may dictate it, but also because it makes sense, literal cents.

My husband quit his corporate job a few months ago and started his own business. When this happened, we both knew that we would have to be more cautious with our discretionary income until his company gets into full swing. Large quarterly bonuses have been replaced with bonuses of a different kind - no more corporate ladder or red tape, both of which are priceless!

A new business did mean our family would have to make some adjustments. To me, it meant no more going to our local Hen House on a whim and trying to see if the discount retailers like Wal-Mart and Aldi would save our family money. Big duh right? Of course they did. Yes, the produce in Hen House might have a bit more gloss and it is convenient to buy everything at a store only a couple blocks from my home. However, afer a few weeks of doing some serious cost comparisons, I've realized I can save my family HUNDREDS of dollars a month by shopping at other stores. Why haven't I been doing this all along?

I'm not advocating one store over another. I still frequent my Hen House, always will, just not as frequently as I used to though. Does this mean I won't be getting my annual "thank you" gift from them at Christmas, maybe. Does this mean I'll go back to my Hen House ways again in the future, I'm hoping not.

To Glee or not to Glee?

Admittedly, I'm late to the Glee viewing game. It seems like everyone I know has been telling me I neeeeeed to see the show. So after much persuasion from neighbors, co-workers, Facebook friends and even children, I sat down to watch it tonight. Of course I loved it.

That's not the point, it's a given that I would like a musical variety show. If you know me, I've been known to bust out into song now and then. My point or rather question is, why doesn't my husband like these type of shows or even musicals all together?

Is it the X/Y chromosomal difference? How can he stand to watch episode after episode of Monster Garage but wilt like spinach in a hot skillet when I mention words like "Wicked, Sound of Music, West Side Story or Cats"? Not only do his eyes glaze over but he looks at me as if I've made up new vocabulary words, as if he's never even heard of the words before.

Maybe it's like getting your first summer tan. Maybe he should ease into Glee or other musicals, bit by bit. Start with a small amount of exposure and gradually increase until he can sit through the height of the sun, or in this case, an entire episode.

Does your husband/boyfriend/partner Glee?

Who gets the oxygen mask first?

Like many of you, I struggle with taking care of everthing/everyone around me first and often making myself last. I'm not trying to be a saint or obtain sympathy, I'm just stating a fact.

A friend of mine put it in this perspective. In times of turbulence, when an airplane's oxygen masks come down from the ceiling, who's mask is supposed to go on first? We all know the answer, your own....

Why don't we (women) apply this to our lives? Every weekend, I tell myself, I am going to forge a little time for myself. Just me and only me. Whether this means going to Barnes & Noble and enjoying a frothy frappucino and perusing the new arrivals or walking up and down the aisles of Target, I say to myself I'm going to do it.

And then what happens? The weekend has passed and once again I wake up on a Monday morning wondering where my me time went? Instead of taking a moment for myself, I spent it carting kids around to various sporting events, carting kids on various errands, cleaning up the house, doing laundry, cooking, etc, etc.

I'm not saying, I don't enjoy these activities, I do (excluding laundry and cleaning house of course). I'm just saying that when I wonder where my me time went, it's because I didn't bother to speak up and say I need some time for myself. My husband would gladly give it to me if he knew I wanted it. I just need to remember to put my mask on first. Who's mask do you put on first?

Booby Trap

Literally. When you hit the landmark age of turning 40, one of your new to-do's as a woman is to get a mammogram. If nothing else, for peace of mind, I set my appointment for this Friday.

Here's how I envision the visit going. But first I have to provide a little physical description of myself. I promise, it won't be more than you can bear. I'm short. 4 foot 11 and 3/4 to be exact. Short enough that I'll likely have to stand on some sort of stool. And I'm not the most endowed specimen in the mammary area. I don't think of these traits as physical defects, they are what they are....me.

Technician: "Ms. Cooper, can you please get as close to the machine as you physically can. You might feel a little squeeze as we try to make sure we get as much of you in the Xray as possible. I apologize in advance if you feel some mild discomfort.

Umm, do you think you could get closer? Closer...closer...I'm sorry Ms. Cooper, I seem to be having difficulty getting enough of you in for a sample picture. Perhaps if you could just bend forward a bit more."

How the hell am I supposed to keep a straight face during this exchange? I think the mild discomfort will come more from knowing it's going to be a pulling taffy type experience to get a good mammogram from me. But you know what, in a little offbeat sort of way, I'm looking forward to the appointment, mild discomfort and all. It reminds me that I'm actually doing something to take care of myself, something I don't do enough of anyway.

If you've already gone through this experience, let me know what to truly expect.

Enough with the guilt!

Why do I always feel guilty about something? Is it a trait I was born with? Is it a trait ingrained in women?

I feel guilty when I'm not home to greet the kids from school. I feel guilty when I don't return a friend's call the same day. I feel guilty because I don't visit my parents every Sunday. Heck, tonight I felt guilty because I left my husband alone with the children for about an hour so that I could run errands. I seriously doubt my husband feels guilty when he goes on a several hour motorcycle ride and leaves me with the children. Therein, lies the point.

I need to be more like a man. Men don't suffer from this guilt syndrome. When we go to sleep at night, my husband lays his head down and falls into a peaceful slumber within seconds. When I lay my head down, I'm thinking to myself I should have read our toddler son another book instead of folding laundry. Or I should be planning my strategy for my morning meeting.

I should just tell myself enough with the guilt already. But then I'd feel guilty about that :-) Is it just me?

Baby Mama Drama

My husband and I have a blended family. One his, two mine, one ours. However, we call all of them our children, regardless of what belly they came from.

Having had his daughter since she was an infant, I feel as much of a mother to her as I do my own. I've gotten up in the middle of the night when she's been sick, changed her diapers, kissed boo-boos, attended parent/teacher conferences, you name it, I've done it. Here's my dilemna.

My daughter (stepdaughter) calles me "Mom". This bothers her biological mother to no end. In fact, the bio mom takes every moment she can to remind our daughter to not call me "Mom". Well, we finally had a Jerry Springer moment yesterday on our front porch about it. Needless to say, the neighbors heard more than they probably should have. If you know me, I don't get easily riled up. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. However, I've had my limit of watching the biological contributor gossip about me at sporting and school events and I couldn't help myself. It was not one of my finer moments in life, but at least it finally got out in the open. I think this issue is unresolvable between us all. The biological mom will always believe it's disrespectful to her and I will always believe she should just shut the F**K up.

Feel free to share if you've experienced the same situation or what your thoughts are about it. And I'm OK with hearing differing viewpoints :-)